Real Programmers React to The Lawnmower Man

Real Programmers React to The Lawnmower Man


Alright, let’s see what this thing’s got. They’re training chimpanzees to Have the high score on Mech Warrior in the arcade? Ok first off there were no lawns, there were also no men. Is this their idea of a stereotypical dumb person? Like overalls? Local police just got a strange call from the priest at St.Anthony’s, said there’s some kind of strange animal at the church. Has no one in this universe seen a monkey? “It’s some kind of strange, small, hairy,…” “Humanoid like creature that has yet to be defined” (The potentials for human advancement are endless. Virtual reality holds the key to the evolution of the human mind and that’s my focus.) If only he knew we use it for Hentai porn now. (He’s the agent and he’ll take you through the topic. -Yeah ok. -And once you finish with that one, start with the next one.) Ok, ok ok Start at the dawn of civilization. I’ll be back in a few hours (How many did you go through? I went through the whole series up to the American Revolution. That’s a hundred hours of programming) (I figured out how to increase the baud rate. Each disk only took two minutes.) Also, I learned about baud rate. So…being Ridiculously intelligent and being able to absorb info suddenly makes you telepathic? Yeah learning about history. Yeah… I remember I took World Cultures one and I could start to hear people’s thoughts. Would not believe your eyes if ten million fire flies. He’s gotta kill him with his own cigarette at the gas station right? Smoking kills… Time for you to pay at the pump Someone’s getting lawnmowered! If he does not say your ass is grass, this entire movie has been a waste. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting self. Do you see vomits stains on him? So all Pierce Brosnan managed to accomplish by jacking in was to reveal the bombs and get himself trapped, yes Yeah, okay, let’s save the fucking dog for later get out gotta get out of here but first embrace me lovingly. Okay, that’s enough let’s go! ( Access granted) Through port 22! You know what else they could have done Unplugged the server. Two options. No gotta blow up the whole building. Gotta blow up the whole facility Is anybody gonna pick it up? I’m goddamn sure that they had like Port scanning utilities. So why was this dude checking one? Yeah I don’t know if you noticed me at work, but you’ll see me Crazily flailing arms around I check out all the ports. Like look. I got a Susan I’m gonna Samsung gear VR you could put one on and connect it to your computer and you can use that to do the work It’s exactly how a caveman that would solve an IT problem. He’s in the Internet. How do we stop him? We beat up the internet. Yeah, there we go. Blow it up The only way to turn off electronics That is such a huge limitation of virtual reality though is that you can’t it’s like virtual reality right now It’s still very limited in that you exert external input To do things. Yeah Ok, you notice the Samsung gear VR or the oculus or any of those other personal reality systems, you still have to have controllers? Yes, he’s still gonna do some kind of movement had a camera facing it. I’m happy or whatever Yeah, no current virtuality means close TV. How close can I bring my face to my monitor? Oh, wow. That’s really close Yeah, and like in every single implementation that we’ve seen that like builds up on it though. Don’t get me wrong It’s really cool and everything, but it’s still not true virtual reality It’s physical input like they’ve got people running on from like, you know standstill treadmills or people doing this or doing that or smelling smells or kissing poles I’ll show it to you later. It could have been worse Surely it could have been well for a movie that was made in the 1990s I’ve got to admit that like the computer graphics are certainly impressive Could you imagine working that hard that laboriouly for that long? And it’s for this movie Okay, all that hard work and put in I don’t know anything about what the actors are doing or what the story is But I just spent six months Animating the port scanning scene. Let’s see how the movie is. Oh my god. I like when he transcended And slipped into the asshole of the internet. Yeah, if Jobe, Jobe just dives into the mainframe and it’s a Windows OS Crashes jobe.exe is not responding. Oh my god. It’s 2:00 in the morning I know this that movie was way longer than I was expecting I’m sleepy. I’m just excited to see what the director thought was missing from the theatrical release

2 thoughts on “Real Programmers React to The Lawnmower Man”

  1. What was missing from the theatrical release was plenty of character developing moments. The characters are fleshed out more in the director's cut.

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